The Heart Asks Pleasure First
by Light1
Summary: Monsters have always been creatures of nightmare for Seras Victoria, can she ever get past her fear and see the men the monsters once were?


**The Heart Asks Pleasure First. **

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: G

Set: During the Manga

Authoress note: Alucard, Seras and a Piano.

She couldn't sleep. This place was so strange, nothing here made any sense to her. Her life was so violent now. Everything she did here was wrong and everyone shouted. It seemed to her like no one knew how to speak quietly. Everything was so outlandish. Every time she felt she was getting a handle on things she lost her grip. It was going to drive her either mad or into depression. Even little things were getting to her, having to change her routine so dramatically had left her body clock completely upside down. This was not the first day she found herself unable to sleep. Even although she was exhausted she would lie awake during the daylight hours, usually contemplating what had happened during the night. This night that had just passed had been one of the worst in a long line of bad nights. Usually there was violence, there was death and there was Alucard. But last night had been different. There had just been a boy, well a man really. He had sat alone in his house, his young family dead around him. He had torn them apart in the change, now he sat weeping over copses. Everyone had frozen as they entered the room, the man had looked up and he had smiled at them.

"They told me you would come." He said slowly, his voice uneven from sobbing for so long. "I'm glad you came." Seras had felt all her own pain well up at the baring of this broken man and her eyes grew hot. She watched as he sat still holding an infant now long dead. Her hands were shaking too much for her to lift her gun and from the silence it seemed no one else could raise theirs either. Alucard did not suffer the same problem. He looked so nonplussed by the whole situation. He simply raised his hand and fired. No manic reaction, no howls of deranged laughter, no words. Just a simple motion and the man was dust. It hurt Seras to watch him. She began to worry that after years of this job she too would become emotionless, so bored with something so sad. She would never want to be so unaffected. Even if it hurt her to feel this sad she still wanted to retain her emotions. She feared that one day though, she would lose them. It was thoughts like these that kept her awake at night.

So unable to sleep, she sat up and flicked on a light. She didn't need the lamp but turning on the light gave her a feeling or normality. Her whole room was designed to give her that feeling of normality. It was the reason she hoped Alucard never made an excuse to come in here. She had visions of him walking in and trashing the place in disgust. No doubt he would rant about how she wasn't human any more so she should stop pretending. She sighed, lying here wasn't helping anything. She didn't really need to use the bathroom, but she wanted to move. She wanted a distraction. So she stood and went towards the bathroom with the goal of simply splashing water on her tired face. She did not make it to the bathroom however. Half way there she stopped walking and tilted her head. She could hear something. It wasn't people, at least not people talking, it was music. Curious she walked in the direction the sound was coming from. She wandered down a few wrong corridors before eventually finding the right one. It was on the first floor, round the back of the mansion. The music was much clearer up here and she could hear that it was a piano. She stopped outside a few doors listening before grinning when she found the right one. She had never been in this room before, it was dark, but that was no problem for her. She saw clearly that it was a simple room, probably meant for entertaining small groups of people. There was a fireplace and a gaming table for card games and a piano.

The piano wasn't overly grand, it was simple. It was made from a dark wood and it appeared to be quiet worn. Alucard sat at the piano playing the music. It was beautiful and haunting. It was sad yet it had some element of energy to it. It made her think that the composer was sad but that hope was still within him. Alucard's shoulders shook as she approached and he turned to grin at her. She winced realising he had heard what she had been thinking. She approached slowly and stood next to him as he played. She didn't know the song but she liked it. It was sort of familiar but it was like she had forgotten bits of it. It was very dramatic in places and quiet in others. A mixture of mood and emotion. She watched him play and it made her wonder how she had thought him empty. Anyone who could play something like that was not dead inside. He had to have felt something today to make him do this now. He sighed, once again listening to her thoughts and rolled his eyes at her.

"Today was not so unusual," he said eventually, "It happens."

"Really?" she asked, he stopped playing and looked at her. He sighed loudly and nodded.

"Vampires can breed in almost as many accidental ways as mortals," he said slowly, "not all humans die easily, some fight and we bleed as easily as they do." Seras frowned at his words. "if we drain them but they have bitten us to defend themselves then they may turn and not just become a ghoul."

"But I took a lot of blood from you," she said firmly, Alucard smiled.

"That was because I wanted you to be strong. I gave you my blood, but it only takes a few drops stolen in battle to destroy lives."

"He was so sad," Seras breathed

"Wouldn't you have been?" Alucard smirked "he ate his wife and child. Anyone would have felt as he did."

"Why did he do it?" Seras almost shouted, it was so frustrating.

"He had no mentor, he was changed by droplets and he was starving." Alucard shrugged, "starvation can cause fledglings to become mindless."

"But I've never..." Seras glared

"Because I made you strong," Alucard snapped, getting fed up "most fledglings are pathetic, weak little things, unable to do barely anything. By giving you the amount I did meant that you were born strong."

"Oh," Seras breathed. It was strange to think that he had done something kind for her. Something for her benefit. Strange to think that pouring blood down her throat had been beneficial. She should be grateful really she could have ended up like that man, killing those close to her because of crazed bloodlust. At least here in this strange place with Alucard watching over her she couldn't unwittingly hurt someone. Alucard sniggered at her thoughts and she frowned at him, it was so damn rude of him to keep doing that!

"You think I nag at you like an old maid for my own enjoyment," he sniggered and shook his head, turning back to the piano he began to play again. "But it was not just my blood, you have a rather hefty amount of will power for one so young to starve yourself the way you do. I doubt you would have ever been much of a danger to anyone but yourself had you changed the way he did." She didn't say anything, just stayed quiet and listened to him play. The song was fitting she felt, sad yet hopeful. It was pretty and she doubted anyone could listen to it and not be affected.

"I always wanted to be able to make something that pretty," she whispered "something that would make people feel something." Alucard raised an eyebrow at her. But stopped playing and moved back a little. Seras squeaked when hands grabbed at her and pulled her into his lap, he lifted her hands and put them on the keys then put his over top of hers.

"Calm down, I'm not going to eat you," he grumbled and began to move her hands under his own. Guiding her to the right keys. It was a bit strange, like dancing on your father's feet but she could not deny she was playing the song now. It was coming out from inside her and the piano moved under her giving all her frustration, all her sadness and anger an outlet. It was marvellous.

"You know what?" she said after a moment or two

"What?" he asked, breath making her hair move.

"You're not half the monster you make yourself out to be."

"Quiet," She felt him smirk against her ear "they'll hear you."

**End **

Authoress note: The song Alucard was playing is called 'The Heart asks Pleasure First.' It is the theme from the film 'The Piano'. Here be a YouTube link to an awesome song watch?v=0dPS-EHl-FE


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